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Clinger (2015)
Movie Reviews

Clinger (2015)

A wacky horror/comedy brooding with fun and often hilariously bloody disgusting moments about love gone wrong.

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The universal adage that “love hurts” is manifested painfully in Clinger, a literal representation of that ever-popular cliche. Love is complicated, and can often elicit feelings of hyper-affection. And, yet, if love is complicated it’s also messy, making break-ups even messier. Clinger is a film about love gone wrong, really wrong, even in the afterlife. Here’s a wacky horror/comedy brooding with fun and often hilariously bloody disgusting moments.

Fern Petersen (Jennifer Laporte), a track-and-field student with ambitions to get into MIT – the last thing she needs is a distraction. But as you’d expect, true love comes when one least expects it. She soon meets Robert Klingher (Vincent Martella), a charming young man and talented guitarist, and it isn’t long before the two soon hit it off. Maybe a little too much.

The love between Fern and Robert soon begins to transform into a pathetic one-sided affair. Fern can’t even enjoy a chicken sandwich without Robert hovering with his camera ready to snap a selfie, suffocating her in what looks less like an embrace and more like a choke hold. Slowly, Robert becomes that most common of cinematic cliches: the aloof clingy boyfriend.

Under such suffocating pressure, Fern is now forced to take that monumental step to break up with him. Robert, however, has other plans, building a platform that professes his love for Fern that, ultimately, takes his life in an unfortunate and bloody accident.

With that explosive and darkly funny bit established, the rest of Clinger starts to take shape. No real spoilers here – the best way to experience a film like this is to simply see it for yourself. But there’s plenty of strong performances here, thanks to a zany supporting cast that includes Julia Aks as Fern’s older sister Kelsey – a wannabe (failed) entrepreneur with way too many enterprises on her plate, and gym teacher/former ghost hunter Valeria (Alicia Monet Caldwell), a lewd, irritable curmudgeon who may be Fern’s only hope in stopping Robert’s vengeful ghost bent on keeping Fern forever.

Clinger is the perfect movie to watch this Halloween season. Not only is it a surprisingly fun time for cinema fans, but there’s enough blood for those with that insatiable vampiric tendency.  Stray away from the crowded theaters this Halloween: the batch of Hollywood horror films on tap isn’t that great anyway – do you really need to watch another Paranormal Activity film? – and fire up your favorite VOD service and give this one a go. Clinger satisfies everything that makes a horror/comedy perfect: lots of blood, lots of comical scenarios, and undeniable mass appeal. This one is sure to become a cult classic – so spread the word!

About the Author: J. Carlos Menjivar