Believe it or not, making a worst-of list is a lot harder than it seems, simply because I’m limited to ten, and there’s a much wider selection to choose from than there would be for just picking the year’s best. It would be nice if it were the other way around. But until that time comes, I’ll just have to make due with my picks for The Worst Films of 2012.
If you need something to help forget these stinkers you can also check out my list for the “Best Films of 2012” right HERE – I highly recommend doing so.
10. Branded
(Read Full Review HERE)
This movie is bizarre, self indulgent, appallingly cynical, and unlikely to be understood by anyone inside or out of the world it mercilessly targets. While obviously intended as a dark satire of advertising and consumerism, it comes off as a series of hysterical ramblings that in all likelihood have little to no basis in actual fact.
9. That’s My Boy
(Read Full Review HERE)
This is a pathetic new low for Adam Sandler, representative of nothing apart from a desperate plea for attention. With its bizarre blending of disgusting toilet humor and heartfelt moments of drama, it exemplifies a complete lack of understanding on the filmmakers’ part about who the movie was intended for.
8. The Raid: Redemption
(Read Full Review HERE)
Watching this movie is a little like being trapped in an arcade game and having absolutely no control over it. The characters, developed solely on shallow and overused clichés, are essentially targets in a shooting gallery, most of them serving no purpose apart from awaiting their cue to die in a savage attack.
7. Jack Reacher
(Read Full Review HERE)
What a deplorable movie this is. It tells a story so dark, so venomous, and so convinced of humanity’s insincerity that it inspires nothing but bad feelings. And to think that this opened during the holiday season.
6. Act of Valor
(Read Full Review HERE)
This is not a movie so much as a recruitment video, commissioned by the Navy’s Special Warfare Command as an initiative to increase the sign-up rate for the Navy SEALs. This is a reprehensible example of pro-American propaganda masquerading as an action film.
5. Tim and Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie
(Read Full Review HERE)
On the basis of this film, writers/directors/stars Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim have never heard an actual joke in their lives. They may not even know what a joke is. The movie basically consists of two men and a roster of guest stars sinking to the lowest depths of crudeness in a desperate plea for attention.
4. Suing the Devil
(Read Full Review HERE)
Here is a movie so flimsy in premise, so poorly written, and so badly acted that it achieves a perverse level of hilarity. To watch this movie is to witness the birth of a cult classic, one that’s sure to play in midnight movie houses while audiences make fun of it mercilessly.
3. Fun Size
(Read Full Review HERE)
Vapid, juvenile, pointless, and most alarmingly, utterly confused about what audience it’s intended for. Most of the plot is so insubstantial that entire scenes evaporate from memory before they come to an end. I live in hope that its very existence is nothing more than a Halloween prank, one the cast and crew will probably get over much sooner than I will.
2. God Bless America
(Read Full Review HERE)
Although this film correctly and accurately addresses America’s failings, it offers a solution so venomous and morally reprehensible that it surpasses mere parody and becomes a full-blown case of cinematic intolerance.
1. Battlefield America
(Read Full Review HERE)
Essentially of the junior division of You Got Served, here is a grossly implausible and incredibly disturbing film in which young male dancers are fetishized in music video-like dance routines. This is the most preposterous, exploitive, cloying, artificial film of its kind since Standing Ovation.
