Oh…Sir! Insult Simulator is unlike anything I’ve ever had the pleasure of taking for a test drive. This gem of a “simulator” takes insults to the next level with posh British characters performing all sorts of verbal jujitsu. Players can choose from a colorful variety of characters and throwing them into different situations to settle verbal disputes.
While the idea of an insult simulator sounded attractive to me at the time, after going a few rounds with a mouthy CPU my opinion changed dramatically about this odd genre. Wait, are insults even a genre? Let’s find out!
There’s no real storyline to Oh…Sir! Insult Simulator, at least not one I could see. How it works is that players get to choose their character and situation, then are given a list of words and insults to string together. Stringing together intricate phrases delivers a punch in the proverbial gut with a strong combo. Scoring higher combos lets insult champs take out their opponents quickly, efficiently, and win the round with sartorial wit.
There are small details to take into consideration when constructing various insults. Proper grammar does have to be part of the insult, meaning I couldn’t just choose random words to string together into a incomprehensible gibberish only I was privy to deciphering. I thought this was a nice attention to detail, even if it did feel like I was playing one of those ridiculous word ‘games’ they tried to sell me in middle school.
Sadly, this is where the fun with Oh..Sir! Insult Simulator ends. When I launched the application I could usually navigate through the menu screen just fine. I would pick my character, choose the scenario…and end up stuck on the loading screen. I figured maybe the load time was just taking a long time so I spent about ten to fifteen minutes doing laundry and refilling my humidifier. When I came back Oh…Sir! seemed dead set on insulting with me with a black screen and that blue bird with its obnoxious grin on its beaked face. I had to open my task manager and cancel the whole thing in order to just get back to my Steam page.
I also found another bug with the tutorial. While the game is by no means complicated, I still felt a refresh of the basics could help out. The tutorial would launch just fine, but when I would click the prompt box to show how to best learn to construct the most offending sentences known to man…it wouldn’t go away. Ultimately, I resorted to task manager to force-close the game to reset. Not good.
Eventually, after some fiddling I was finally able to start practicing my insults by getting Oh…Sir! Insult Simulator to play in Windowed Mode instead of Fullscreen. I’m not sure how or why this is a thing, but suddenly the obnoxious bluebird from before was disappearing in less than a minute instead of just mocking me.
While I like the idea behind an insult simulator, unfortunately, the game failed to deliver on this front. During a round characters will speak out the chosen phrase once it’s been assembled. I didn’t have a problem with this at first, but I got tired of it pretty quickly. Oh…Sir! is definitely not a speaking simulator and it’s glaringly obvious here.
When the characters spoke it felt stilted, reversed, and it took away from the general good humor of the verbal dispute. I felt if the characters had been silent instead of speaking aloud the insults, it would have made a better experience. Many of the insults I was able to construct we’re actually halfway decent, but they lost much of their potency when being repeated out loud. Just toss me in some halfway cheeky music and I’m good to go.
Also…I wasn’t a fan of the music, either, which I found it irritating. The music at the menu alone sounded like it belonged to a badly made parade float than an insult simulator. Unless that was the intent…?
I’ll give Oh…Sir! Insult Simulator props for at least having a creative concept. The idea behind it, while not innovative, is quite cheeky and had potential. I’m actually sad the actual game isn’t up to the challenge, as the crass world it’s attempting to present seems severely lacking in creative and bizarre insults. Unfortunately, the idea is poorly executed, leaving the actual game broken and almost unplayable at times – unless you’re willing to research workarounds (like Windowed Mode) as I discovered. There’s little substance, the insults are repetitive, and quite frankly beyond a few rounds it loses its charm.