Ninja Five-O

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The strange journey of Hudson Soft’s Ninja Five-O (or Ninja Cop, as it’s known in some areas) from obscurity to cult status is a strange one, but it makes sense when you look at the game in content. Originally released in 2003 for the Gameboy Advance, it was a game that already looked, sounded, and played like an ancient throwback even at the time. The side-scrolling action ninja platformer had nearly been perfected by this point, but even by GBA standards it was lacking.

Since its release, Ninja Five-O has been incredibly difficult to find, at least legitimately, and I believe it’s this scarcity that’s led to the game’s current revaluation as a classic. While not bad, it’s certainly not worth the scuttlebutt surrounding it, unlike something like the recent remake of Shadow of the Ninja – Reborn. Now that’s a game worth your attention.

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No, what helped make Ninja Five-O stand out (as much as it possibly could) was that it was less an action platformer and more an arcade puzzle platformer instead, like what we’d seen in the 1980s with Taito’s Elevator Action than Sega’s Shinobi or Tecmo’s versions of Ninja Gaiden on the NES, while the inclusion of a grappling hook was clearly inspired by Capcom’s Bionic Commando.

Published by Konami (who owns whatever remains of the Hudson Soft brand) and Limited Run Games, the game gets a barebones re-release for modern platforms offering only the barest of bones of the original 2003 GBA game, and not much else. You play as Joe Osugi, a detective-turned-ninja tasked with eradicating the bad guys and saving hostages, hopefully in that order. As far as ninja-themed games go, going up against crazy Kabuki mask-themed terrorists isn’t that bad.

Joe will use everything he can to take down the various baddies while saving hostages. Our hero can run left and right, slide, sword slash, and throw infinite shurikens. Press the jump button twice and Joe will lash out a grappling hook that can snag onto surfaces to let him ascend or swing his way to victory. Your life bar depletes as you take damage, though picking up heart icons will replenish it while lightning bolt icons power-up your projectiles to inflict even more damage.

Instead of pure action, Ninja Five-O focuses more on strategy as you’ll scour every area to find multicolored keys to open their corresponding doors, meaning the levels themselves become part of the puzzle. Admittedly, these moments are the most enjoyable, with the key hunting gimmick feeling like another GBA classic, Nintendo’s Mario vs. Donkey Kong. You’ll still slash your way through enemies both large and small, including boss battles, but these parts feel secondary to completing each level.

By GBA standards the visuals are simple but decent and the sound serviceable. More than anything, it’s the controls that really bring the whole experience down. I won’t mince words, these are unfathomably bad controls that should have never been included in any game, let alone one that often requires pinpoint accuracy and timing. Joe is slow to turn after jumping, making quick attacks impossible, and his projectile attacks can feel like throwing syrup.

Most egregious is the grappling hook mechanics, which are frustratingly inaccurate and often game-ruining, a fact made worse when it’s required in lieu of standard wall-jumping to reach higher areas. Stick with the controls long enough and you may eventually get used to them, but you’ll never like them. You might even hate them.

There are a few bonus features to play with, like the ability to rewind gameplay up to five seconds, which you’ll learn to love given how the wretched controls will mean missed jumps and enemy attacks you meant to dodge. Other additions include an artwork gallery, a basic screen filter, and the original game manual. I’m baffled why this version includes a music player for such a forgettable soundtrack, or even a high-quality option (which can be embarrassing as the music tracks will often skip during gameplay). Anything to pad out the extras, I suppose.

Honestly, it’s hard to recommend a re-release of a game that was already extremely dated when it was released 22 years ago, but having the re-release of Ninja Five-O be such a barebones and content-free package only makes the non-recommendation that much easier. There’s nothing wrong with an old-school arcade puzzle take on ninja action, and in short bursts there’s a decent experience to be had. But horrible controls dampen the fun, and the gameplay simply isn’t worth the frustration.