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Criminal Girls: Invite Only
Game Reviews

Criminal Girls: Invite Only

Dungeon-crawling, monster-bashing fun for adults, and adults only.

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There’s a lot more to video games than a lot of people think, really. I talk about how they aren’t “art,” but that’s more a reaction to the many games that try too hard to earn the title. Anyway, games can be pretty complex, and that can carry over when you review them. With some games I need to write a whole bunch of paragraphs about gameplay, plot, graphics and so on. Sometimes, though, I get to review the Steam port of Criminal Girls: Invite Only. Life is much easier this way.

It’s…it’s a port of Criminal Girls we last saw on PS Vita. It’s feature-complete. It runs on your PC, and you don’t need a very powerful system to make it work. If you aren’t familiar with Criminal Girls, check out my previous review; a quick summary is that you’re essentially a proctor at Netherworld Juvenile Hall and it’s your job to help some post-mortem riff-raff become law-abiding citizens in an attempt to save them from eternal damnation.

This involves a bunch of dungeon crawling and monster-bashing, with a combat system based on suggestions that’s somewhat similar to Square Enix sleeper The Last Remnant. The dungeon crawling isn’t bad, but it’s not going to blow your mind or anything.

Criminal Girls also involves a bunch of questionable fanservice cutscenes, represented as your character whipping the no-goodniks into shape, so to speak. I’m not really the type to pass judgment either way on this sort of thing (otherwise I’d have to review games like Mafia III, Dear Esther or Virginia based on the merit of their concepts as stated by their creators rather than on their gameplay and technical prowess and I assure you that I’m not about to start doing that) and I tend to be a little repulsed by the many journalists who do, so instead I’m going to go the “play what you want and enjoy it!” route. Knock yourself out! Knock yourself out super hard with mods if that’s what you want to do, since this is on PC. Hoo boy.

I’ve seen some complaints about crashes and bugs in this PC version of Criminal Girls: Invite Only, but it generally ran pretty well for me, and so far as I can tell it’s the same game you’d find on the PS Vita, so I say again: if this is what you’re into, knock yourself out! It works! It’s inexpensive! Truthfully, this is the type of game you’d probably already have on on PS Vita since there’s a ton of this kind of thing on that platform, but regardless, here it is on Steam!

About the Author: Cory Galliher