The Red Star is quite the curiosity. Originally slated for an appearance on the Xbox, that incarnation was scrapped and attention turned to creating a PlayStation 2 release. That was in 2004. and since then this strange brawler has flown relatively under the radar until the past March, republished as a downloadable title for the PSP. Now, it's made its way to the iPhone/iPod Touch with, well, mixed results. I'll go out on a limb here and note that this isn't necessarily a title you'd even want to see on a handheld without tangible input such as the iPhone. Iffy directional control, clunky combat, and the dreary environments make it quite simple to stay far away from this lukewarm beat-'em-up.

Set in a futuristic vision of Soviet Russia, now lovingly referred to as the URRS, players may choose to take up the mantle of either Kyuzo or Makita, male and female characters respectively whose arsenals and moves differ little. Further on as the game progresses, a third character opens up: Maya Antares, a sorceress, but for the long haul you'll be controlling one of the two starters. As part of a small resistance, both protagonists are taking a stand against the political machine that threatens to overpower their beloved homeland. The plot is fairly forgettable, admittedly, but then that's not really what you came for. You came to beat some unsuspecting Joe Schmoes up. And that you will. But not without a struggle. Even though there's little more point to this game than simply beating the pulp out of whatever saunters your way, it's still not worth all of the hardship for a few minutes of "fun."

The Red Star relies on the iPhone/iPod Touch's usually precise touch screen in order to complete any and all tasks associated with normal play. This means it must tackle movement normally assigned to directional buttons and analog sticks and it maps attack protocols to small on-screen locales your fingers must fumble around to press clumsily. In a word, it's a mess.

A glut of the problem stems from the fact that there is no set "virtual" directional pad on-screen for players to utilize. You must touch anywhere in order to direct your character. In the heat of battle where every button meant for combat clutters up the right side of the screen, this proves more frustrating than liberating. Forget aiming or repositioning yourself when needing to switch targets. By the time you slide your finger around in the correct position, you'll be covering up the character themselves and wondering just where they went. This blind spot is more than a little inconvenient. When you're shot down in a matter of minutes during the first stage of the game due to this imprecise movement control, you know something's wrong.

When the point of the game as a whole is foiled due to the shortcomings of the platform itself, it becomes nigh impossible to be enjoyed as any sort of simple diversion. Games such as Princess Fury, a prior portable beat-em-up I bit into on the very same platform, accomplished the same goals without much struggle, so it's strange to me why the developers couldn't at the very least introduce a static movement pad to lessen screen real estate taken up by your finger.

At the very least, the game looks great. Though these graphics might look dated blown up on larger screens, they're smooth as silk and fantastic on the iPhone. Unfortunately, stages are dull and uninspired, and most often quite linear. There's nothing too memorable about the soundtrack, either, so it's hard to recommend for that too. In fact, there isn't much here to enjoy about the game except for the fact that attacks are instantaneous. At the very least the "buttons" you're tapping to assault your enemies on-screen work extremely well. You don't need to fight with them. Well, thank goodness for small miracles, right?

I'm sad to report The Red Star utterly fails as an acceptable portable beat-'em-up, and any fans of the genre would be better served to look into it on the PSP or even its PlayStation 2 incarnation. It's unfortunate, as this had quite a bit of potential and I desperately wanted to see the game deliver on this premise.  With so many examples of how to construct a properly playing game on the platform, having to accept anything less isn't necessary anymore.  I suppose I'll be on the lookout for a similarly styled game that doesn't force you to fight with its inadequacy just to bash a few heads together. Alas. I think I'll be sticking with console brawlers.