As the next episode in the live-action Transformers film opens,  the voice of Autobot leader Optimus Prime is explaining  the special relationship his race of living machines has with the humans, and just how far back their shared history goes.  Eons ago, a band of scavengers known as the Dynasty of Primes scoured the universe for Energon (their life-energy) came to earth, where a veritable treasure of Energon stands to be harvested upon the destruction of the planet’s sun.  However, the Primes have agreed that all life-bearing planets would be spared destruction, much to the disagreement of a certain member of the Primes (i.e. The Fallen), setting in motion a chain of events that lead back to the present, human Sam Witwicky, and the only hope for humanity, the Matrix of Leadership.

If that sounds confusing, don’t worry, because by the time you leave the theater it will make perfect sense.  Or it won’t, which either means you’ve survived a direct hit to your senses or couldn’t tell an Autobot from the Autobahn.  Regardless of where you end up, few summer blockbusters have made their presence known (and felt) like the return of Hasbro's most famous line of interactive toys.  Built for the masses and design to entertain, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is bigger, louder, and considerably more packed to the gills than its predecessor, which means film critics will moan and audiences will cheer.  Its a film that has no pretense about what it is, is incredibly funny, and as fellow Transformers fans will attest, has only begun to scratch the surface.

Screenwriters Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman (Star Trek) return, and with Ehren Kruger continue to mine the original 1986 animated movie for content and Transformer canon, melding it with various other Transformer mythologies to create something completely new, yet distinctly familiar.  Showcasing the various Autobot and Decepticons as true personalities and characters is something these films have gotten right so far, and frankly haven’t gotten proper credit for.  Director Michael Bay (the happy bane of movie critics) seems incapable of staging single, solitary scenes, but hyperbolic action and intensity seem well suited for The Transformers.

Speaking of Transformers, Revenge of the Fallen is chock-full of them this time around, no doubt buoyed by the massive success of the original film and determined to put as many robotic Autobot and Decepticon characters on-screen (and presumably into the hands of potential toy collectors).  Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen) once again commands the screen and the senses as the brave leader of the Autobots, while Megatron (Hugo Weaving) returns to wreck havoc and help his ‘master’ The Fallen complete his nefarious plans to destroy planet earth.  Bumblebee (who continues to have trouble talking without radio-blurbs) remains a key player, while Decepticon lackey Starscream not only sports a speaking voice this time around, but engages in fan-pleasing verbal assaults with Megatron.

In another big nod to the fans, Soundwave makes his official (if unrecognizable) return as a space satellite, which seems somewhat appropriate given the characters’ penchant for spying and spitting out mini-Decepticon minions.  Happily, Frank Welker also reprises his electronically-aided voice and comes close to replicating the original film.  Also look for a dazzling array of others, including multi-segmented The Constructicons (including Devestator), aged-robot Jetfire (complete with cane and beard), and what looks to be a version of the insecticons.  To those who complain their favorite Transformer didn’t receive enough screen-time, there’s always the toy isle at your favorite store.

And what of the secondary characters, i.e. the human cast?  Led by Sam (Shia LaBeouf) and Mikaela (Megan Fox), the main humanoid once again perform admirably in that they never upstage their robotic costars, which is as it should be.  Shia continues to showcase a real sense of comedic timing that’s served him well in a string of extreme blockbusters, and comes across extremely engaging.  It seems like Megan Fox has realized her place in these films and made peace as eye-candy for the (bigger) boys, with her eye-popping outfits and scandalously skimpy shorts coming oh-so-close to upstaging her digitally-rendered robots.  I can’t remember ever seeing this much sex being sold in a big-budget action film that’s (supposedly) meant for the kids, but I also can’t imagine we'll be hearing many complaints.

Veteran actor John Turturro is back as (ex) Sector 7 agent Simmons and (coupled with newcomer Ramon Rodriguez) provide many of the film’s biggest laughs – and thanks to a particularly unflattering (and full-screen) shot of Turturro’s backside – one of its biggest vomit-inducing groans.  Fellow humans Josh Duhmel and Tyrese also return, but once again have very little to do, other than bark orders and make wisecracks.  So, not much has changed since the first film.  Rainn Wilson (Dwight from TV’s The Office) steals the show as an apple-eating pervy college professor, no doubt continuing the trend of random celebrity appearances in the franchise (in memory of the late Bernie Mac).

The effects are mind-blowing, easily surpassing the impressive digital accomplishments of the original and making us believe that giant robots can not only transform, but they can wisecrack and market with the best of Hollywood’s silicone-injected celebrities.  This is big, explosive action on the level of Star Wars, Terminator, and every science-fiction blockbuster you’ve ever seen combined.  But what really helps give the film its visual “WOW” appeal is the choice of locales, including a draw-dropping finale filmed on location at the pyramids in Egypt.  The bots themselves are easier to make out this time around, although when several of them clash (and they often do), it can cause headaches trying to figure out the nuts from the bolts.  Let’s just say that if Revenge of the Fallen collects any Academy Awards, it won’t be for acting.

Also worth noting (again, for the fans) is that composer Steve Jablonsky returns with another rousing score that should please fans of the original, which benefits greatly from a little assistance (once again) from rockers Linkin Park.  Obviously fans of the franchise, I wonder if they could use their clout to spare a little room for Stan Bush in the next installment?

There’s been plenty of talk regarding some of the film’s newest cast members, namely twin robots Mudflap and Skids (voiced by Spongebob Squarepant’s Tom Kenny and Reno Wilson) and what some have called their racist portrayal.  In an age so completely overwrought with political correctness, it’s hard to see how these big-eared, gold-tooth and ghettoized caricatures could be seen as anything but insensitive.  While these characters can be funny (and thanks to some good-natured shuck ‘n jive, pivotal), a little commonsense might have benefited the final product, especially when a so-called joke is made of their inability to read.  Come on guys, really...

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen may not end with the biggest box-office grosses of all-time (though it will probably be close), but it’s certainly the biggest ‘movie’ I’ve ever seen on the big screen.  It's also hilarious and thrilling, as long as you give into the spectacle of it all and go with it.  Love or hate it, Michael Bay and Steven Spielberg have re-introduced these characters for a new generation to mold and transform with their imagination, and as a keeper of the faith for well over twenty years, I’m grateful to share the experience.  Word has it that the next chapter is already in production, with rumored storylines and characters set to include fan-favorite Unicron and (a no-brainer) the beloved Dinobots into the fold.  Adding transforming planets and dinosaurs to what we’ve already seen…can you imagine?